FWP: When Your BFF Starts ‘Embracing Positivity’
PROBLEM: A friend of mine is ’embracing positivity’ in her life, and it’s impossible to hang out with her without feeling like I’m being held captive by a life coach. Every conversation is about feeling the possitivity in the universe course through our veins and not needing intoxicants to distract ourselves from the true purpose of existence. I used to like this person but I can no longer stand her excessive optimism. Yet, she insists I ‘need her energy’ to brighten up my life since I’ve clearly fallen prey to inauthentic ways of living. Will I survive her overly possitive make-over?
RT: Okay, so anyone who says you “need” their energy to brighten up your life isn’t worth having around. You rather invest in building a relationship with the pizzeria down the road because that shit will really make your day.
However, I don’t think you should completely oust this Baba Ramdev in your life. Rather use this specimen who has “embraced joy” as a muse for a crazy character in your next novel, kitchen table talk or a future blog post on ‘What Not To Do When You Return From India.’ Also, maybe on a downer day, her superior spirituality can really make you laugh out loud and forget how messed up you are. #winning #noshame #stayfriends
SB: Why not join the bandwagon and let her brighten your life? It might not be a bad time to become a vegan and go on a sugar cleans while you focus on radiating positivity into the universe. It will certainly make her less annoying if you’re on board with this yogi-love-the-world trend.
I say embrace your friend’s “enlightened phase” and ride out the benefits together. Everyone can use a little life detox every now and then, and it’s a good way to prime your body for the debauchery to follow once you’re sick of having wheatgrass shots. #onewiththeuniverse #hugatree #innerpeace #boho
LG: Honestly? I’m more concerned about your friend. If she’s fresh to this, eventually her new inner Sirasana is going to come crashing down; purpose-poses are pretty advanced and not even enthusiasm can’t keep unconditioned mental muscles holding them for long. The question isn’t whether you put up with her embracing positivity now — it’s whether you help her try, try again when it slips.
If you’re a good friend, you will — while also secretly adding a handful of bitter chocolate to that walking berry-flavoured Positivity Infusion. After all, cosmic antioxidants come from a variety of sources, including the occasional shot of Spiritual Sarcasm. (TM on all of that, GOOP.) #hashtag #hashtag #hashtag
MM: People spend their whole lives looking for inspiration — treat this overly positive friend as the gift she truly is! Because, I don’t know what kind of life you live, but a human that oozes upbeatness is not a regular, everyday occurrence. At the very least, I think RT makes a good suggestion: Use this specimen as a muse for your creative projects.
But I also wonder why you find her so insufferable. Do you prefer self-help books to the live version? Or was this friend your favourite person to commiserate with on the darkness of existence? If so, go find yourself a new companion for soul-sucking crib sessions over tequila; maybe then, this lost, sunshine-y soul will be more bearable.
Got any first world problems? Write to the Swaddle Team at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll sort you out. Kind of.