PROBLEM: I don’t have any black money but I know people who do. I feel bad for them, but also … I don’t. What is your first world problems advice to them right now?”

KB:Wait… you need advice for them or for you? For you, it’s simple: Stay out of it and avoid judgment. It’s hard enough to lose a significant chunk of change without having your self-righteous friends squawking about how they’ve been paying taxes all along. For them, it’s more complicated.

I’m sure by this point, someone has figured out how to clean even mattresses full of cash and turn black money to white, so depending on how shady your friends want to get — and what kind of unsavoury people they know — they can probably find a way around this. Tax evasion has always demanded some creativity!

MM: I think your friends must have received advice from every well meaning chacha, IT-fearing taxpayer, and street smart CA they know. The best thing for you to do now is take them out for a drink and provide conversation outside of currency woes. (Don’t forget your credit card.)

SB: Agreed with MM: Less is more on the advice front, particularly given your lack of sympathy on this one. While no one ever said that managing illegal finances would be carefree (and the perks clearly far outweigh this once-in-a-lifetime challenge), now may not be the time to get on your soapbox about it.

LG: To them? Whatever they do, don’t throw bags full of old-note lakhs into the bin. (Or, like the car ahead of me on the bridge today, into the sea.) That’s just obscene.

To you? Have some compassion. Some industries run on black money — they may not have had a choice to do everything above board, depending on their business. MM’s plan is best: Be the distracting, alcohol-providing, plastic-wielding friend right now.