PROBLEM: My gynec sent my STD results to my sister by mistake. (My sister is also a patient, and our first names are similar.) My sister gave me the letter, but she didn’t say anything about the results. Not sure what to do?

Not to be insensitive or anything but this would have made a great episode of Picket Fences. Ever watched that show? Of course you haven’t; it was on in the 90s and you sound like someone born a decade later.

I digress, but really… shouldn’t your sister focus on being grateful she’s your sister and not some hot guy (or girl) you run into at the bar, as you drown your sorrows later tonight? All right, that was pretty insensitive. But let’s focus on the real offender here. Sue that gynac! I mean, what the hell? The things people get away with in this country.

Also, stop worrying about what your sister is thinking and show me some anxiety about the STD!

Tch. Millennials.

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PROBLEM: Is it wrong to weigh a friendship against the amount of traffic you have to fight through to meet up? I hope not. I really hate sitting in traffic.

Nope. Traffic’s a bitch. And we should all really start getting to know our neighbours better ’cause if magic carpets aren’t invented soon, they’re going to be the only friends we have. You know, Aziz Ansari mentioned in his book that one of his friends met his wife by searching his zip code plus the word ‘Jewish’ on a dating site. So. Let’s just chalk it down to fast-paced modern day problems and find our own Kramers.