First World Problems: Doting and Dotage


May 4, 2016


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First World Problems is a funny advice column for India’s first world population. Write to Judy (confidentially!) at contact@theswaddle.com if you’ve broken a nail, felt a little blue, yellow or green lately,
or had a strange encounter of the any-numbered kind.


PROBLEM: Both sets of grandparents are convinced the only way to show love to my son is through feeding him sweets. I have begged them not to, but they don’t follow any of my requests. How do I stop this grandparents’ spoiling?

… You sound surprised. Didn’t you know that all grandparents are evil? They’ve been biding their time, waiting for payback, to collaborate with your evil teen spawn in coming up with creative ways to torture your faint parental heart. And how are they supposed to do that if they don’t get to bond with their toddler grandkids over sweet-withholding mutual enemies?

I say, stop trying. They might even feign loss of hearing and early stage Alzheimer’s to continue doing their thing and amuse themselves in the process. What they need to hear is an apology — from you. For all that you put them through as a teen in the 90s. “There was no Internet or mobile phones! How much could I have possibly tortured them?” I hear you scream. And I’m on your side. But if the evil, sweet-feeding monsters are to be stopped, it’s going to call for a nice letter that is equal parts reminiscence, gratitude and apology. And since you have two sets of these crazies, I have to ask: Just what did you and the spouse do to your parents?

PROBLEM: In my office, there’s a woman who fully touches up her makeup at her desk. We sit in an open office, so everyone can see, including clients. Is it okay to do your makeup at the office? And how to get her to stop?

This bothered you enough to write to an advice columnist? Do you have no real problems of your own? And to answer your question, I don’t know if it’s OK or not. I do think it’s a touch obnoxious in the case of clients walking in and out. But either way, why are we talking about this? Get HR to handle it. This is why they exist. To feed their cold, dead souls on random rule-breakers in the hope that it might bring some hint of a joy to their deadpan faces. Unless … you are HR.



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Written By Judy Balan

Judy Balan is a bestselling author and blogger popular for her quirky, often self-deprecatory humour. She is a self-proclaimed expert at American pop-culture with a sitcom/romcom quote for all of life’s situations. Judy believes that if she’s made you laugh, smile or even snort in the middle of a stressful day, her job here is done. Follow her at her website judybalan.com, on Twitter @judybalan, or on Facebook.


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