First World Problems: Stand Up For Your Style
First World Problems is a weekly advice column for India’s first world population. Write to Judy at firstname.lastname@example.org (confidentially!) if you’ve broken a nail, felt a little blue, yellow or green lately, or had a strange encounter of the any-numbered kind.
PROBLEM: Judy, please help! I’ve got one friend who is always copying my style. Always. Anything new that I get, she asks where I got it, and then promptly shows up at our next meeting wearing it. I know imitation is supposed to be flattering, but I’m finding this very annoying. Any good ideas for handling this copy cat?
What? I don’t understand you. You have your very own style-stalking fangirl and you’re complaining? How I wish somebody would copy my style! I’d get to do all kinds of shit, like go without anti-frizz serum for days and wear leather jeggings so I can look like Jon Bon Jovi in the 80’s and randomly tell people that they give love a bad name. You know, just to see how far she’d go to look like me.
Oh, wait. Maybe that’s the solution: You need to start dressing like me! Yes, just get yourself the comfiest pair of tracks, oversized men’s T-shirt and Happy Socks. I assure you, she will not be copying your style again. Ever.
PROBLEM: My 11-year old daughter just told me not to come get her from school because she doesn’t want her friends to see my “huge belly.” (It’s really not that huge, but even if it was….) How do I weather this preteen storm with dignity?!
Send that brat to me and I’ll show her what a huge belly is. By the time she sees you again, she’ll be telling you how beautiful you are. Like the annoying kid in the Pears Soap commercial.