First World Problems: Swipe Left On Friendship


Mar 16, 2016


Article Icon - First World ProblemsFirst World Problems is a funny advice column for India’s first world population. Write to Judy (confidentially!) at contact@theswaddle.com if you’ve broken a nail, felt a little blue, yellow or green lately,
or had a strange encounter of the any-numbered kind.


PROBLEM: Is it wrong to live like Tinder, mentally swiping away friendship options based on first impressions? Or is it better to give every new person you meet a second chance?

It really depends on what you’re looking for in said friendship, I suppose. Love and loyalty? Or convenience and STDs? Also, just so you know, I make a terrible first impression. (Unless it’s an interview. Then I totally rock it.) My social awkwardness and stubborn reluctance to show any interest in small talk makes me a mental-swipe-away friend. Yes — it takes three to four months to love me. But stick around, and you will love me forever. Now, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to pass up a friendship like that. And yet you must. Because, you see, I haven’t set up my own elimination process. So I’m kind of counting on the flaky ones (a.k.a. people who can’t tell a friend from Siri, a.k.a. you) and their ridiculously short attention spans to eliminate themselves.

PROBLEM: A coworker recently commented on how much I’ve reduced. Is it OK to talk to colleagues about their weight loss?

You poor thing. You sound like you were well brought up! I feel the same way Harvey felt when Mike walked into that ‘white collar’ prison. What? You haven’t watched the Suits finale yet? What are you doing with your life?


Written By Judy Balan

Judy Balan is a bestselling author and blogger popular for her quirky, often self-deprecatory humour. She is a self-proclaimed expert at American pop-culture with a sitcom/romcom quote for all of life’s situations. Judy believes that if she’s made you laugh, smile or even snort in the middle of a stressful day, her job here is done. Follow her at her website judybalan.com, on Twitter @judybalan, or on Facebook.


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