Allow Me To Mansplain, Dear Pregnant Lady
PROBLEM: I was out to dinner with a friend when a waiter approached me, interrupted my conversation and told me I “shouldn’t be eating that in [my] condition.” He was pointing to my soy sauce and to my pregnant belly. I was so surprised I mumbled thanks, even though I was not thankful, and he went away. How should I have responded?
MM: I’d turn to anyone who gives me unsolicited eating advice in “my condition” with a look of mock sympathy and say, “Oh my god, I didn’t know gynaecologists were so out of work that they have to wait tables now!”
LG: Ugh, he probably thought he was being helpful and solicitous; they always do, when they mansplain. In your ‘condition’ i.e. in the middle of a conversation with your friend during a meal, I’d go with the standard OK + Thumbs Up, a la Jennifer Lawrence. Snarky, succinct and it lets you get back to the sushi.
KB: There is only one acceptable reply to this unacceptable intrusion: “Do you know what I love to drink along with my sushi and soy sauce? Wine. Please bring me a glass of that, and make it a big one.”
First World Problems is a funny advice column wherein The Swaddle Team weighs in on their own and others’ ‘problems.’ Write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @The_Swaddle with a #FWP hashtag if you’ve broken a nail, felt a little blue, yellow or green lately, or had a strange encounter of the any-numbered kind. We’ll help you sort it out.
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