Drive And DesireHow I Have Sex: “I Can End Up Feeling Nothing Even When All the Right ‘Spots’ Are Touched” ...say that everyone is a demisexual, that sex is better when you have an emotional bond. It’s not about if it’s better or bad, it’s that you don’t experience sexual... By The Swaddle Team
It Gets BetterHow I Have Sex: ‘The Physical Pain From Lupus Used To Prevent Me From Having Sex’ ...a factor in deciding who I have sex with. I’ve had sex when I had a lupus flare — lupus had no physical manifestations at that time. In the initial... By The Swaddle Team
Beyond ShameHow I Have Sex: ‘Sex is Not Salvation, Marriage is Not Heaven, and Singleness is Not Hell’ ...now see I was living on a sexual diet in a time when the pressure I felt—inwardly and outwardly—was to indulge in sexual gluttony. I often wondered if I’m repressing... By The Swaddle Team
Down to BusinessHow I Have Sex: ‘ADHD Makes Me Impatient, Which Sometimes Leads to Disappointing Sex’ ...When I’m not engaged [in the sex], I tend to drift off. And just like that, I won’t be in the mood. This is why I don’t enjoy foreplay. When... By The Swaddle Team
Flares of IntimacyHow I Have Sex: ‘When the Flare‑Ups Are Bad… I’ve Had to Go to the Washroom Mid‑Sex’ ...with it I move on instead of getting upset. I don’t think I’ve been able to fully enjoy sex when I’ve had a flare-up. A part of my mind is... By The Swaddle Team
Wine With No LabelsHow I Have Sex: ‘I Like Someone For Who They Are, Not What Their Genitals Look Like’ ...sex I had seen — even if it didn’t involve nudity (I’m not sure, I can’t seem to remember). Until then, the idea of sex was very abstract and vague.... By The Swaddle Team
All Kinds of SexHow I Have Sex: “I Hate it When People Say Vaginismus Needs to be ‘Fixed.'” ...it’s difficult. My partner is very supportive but it’s like I know our relationship could get better. I’m living this life and this life is good, but if I can... By Rajvi Desai
Fat and SexyHow I Have Sex: ‘Fat People Don’t Only Have Missionary Sex in the Dark’ ...be sexual has taken a lot of time. I think sometimes the idea that fat people are sexual, and therefore, by extension, I am too is so underrepresented. I believe... By The Swaddle Team
Accessing PleasureHow I Have Sex: ‘I Would Start Shaking…It’s Actually Very Scary For the Other Person’ ...16. Growing up, I had no idea about pleasure. I had the worst idea of sex. I have PTSD, due to which I have a seizure disorder. Because whenever I... By The Swaddle Team
Open SesameHow I Have Sex: ‘I Became More Experimental With My Partner When I Started Seeing Other People’ ...and desire in a polyamorous relationship. The first time I had sex was after marriage; I got married when I was 24 years old. I didn’t know I wanted to... By The Swaddle Team
Rules of BondingHow I Have Sex: ‘I Don’t Enjoy the Feeling of Penetration, Even With a Finger’ ...how I look at things. I am still a sex-positive individual; however, I don’t feel sexually attracted in all instances. I grew up thinking romance, love, and any form of intimacy... By The Swaddle Team
Life Beyond StigmaHow I Have Sex: ‘I Worry the Other Person May Get Infected [With HIV] Because of Me’ ...was a time when I thought I will never ever get to have anal sex again in my lifetime. This was also the reason I lost interest in sex eventually.... By The Swaddle Team
Pleasure Meets PainHow I Have Sex: ‘With Women, You’re Guaranteed to Cum; With Men, They’re Guaranteed to Cum’ ...fun. I deserve to have orgasms. If a man can do it for me, great. If not, I’m gonna pleasure myself because I deserve it. And if a man feels... By The Swaddle Team
Making Up For ItHow I Have Sex: ‘My Chronic Pain Feels Like a Flaw That I Have to Compensate For’ ...or the threat of it, is a constant in my life — it comes if I walk too fast, or run, or if I twist or bend wrong. This is... By The Swaddle Team
Orgasm AnxietyHow I Have Sex: ‘I’ve Hardly Ever Orgasmed Because I Get Too Scared’ ...— and I pull away. I know it’s twisted, but this is how it is. I’d like to add that I’ve only been with a handful of men who knew... By Rajvi Desai
Blurred IntimacyHow I Have Sex: ‘With My [Visual] Disability, I Can’t Sense What My Partner Wants – They Have to Say It’ ...this all the time – if I can feel it, I know it, but if it happens through the eyes or at a distance that I can’t see, then I... By The Swaddle Team
Breaking BarriersHow I Have Sex: ‘I Have to Think 50 Times Before I Can Be Open to People About the Things I Indulge In’ ...the things I indulge in. It’s a subconscious thing — I’m afraid I’ll drive them away. It’s just unnecessary embarrassment. For starters, it’s a baffling thing that I’ve faced —... By Rajvi Desai
MisunderstoodHow I Have Sex: “I See a Tinge of Fear in the Other Person When I Voice My Desires” ...level of comfort. If I’m on a date and it ends up being physical, it’s very rarely I’ll ask someone to indulge me in fluid play. It’s a kind of... By The Swaddle Team
