It can be hard to catch a break as a mom, between the pressure of raising a child and managing all the judgment that comes your way while you’re doing it. Because childcare is a full-time job and then some, it’s important to make time to blow off some steam — or some smoke rings. We spoke to three moms who smoke up about how they get high, whether they ever smoke marijuana with their kids, and if they feel judged for smoking.

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Mom 1 (New Delhi)

How many kids do you have, and how old are they?

Just one, he is four years old.

How often do you smoke weed or hash? Do you have a preferred method for smoking?

Very infrequent now after the kid — perhaps a couple of times in a year at the most. The problem is that after you become a parent, you kind of always have to have your wits about you. My preferred method has always been a joint, but I have used a pipe and a bong, but never a vaporiser.

What do you like and/or dislike about smoking weed or hash?

It is relaxing without being intoxicating. At worst my experience with weed has been that it hasn’t affected me, at best, I was completely at peace with the world. Downsides, vis a vis alcohol are fewer — no awful hangovers, poor sleep, no silliness, etc.

Do your kids know? If they do, how and when did you tell them? If they don’t, is it hard to keep it from them/ other family members?

He is too little to know or care for now. With respect to the other family members, I haven’t tried to keep it from them, but I haven’t made a point of telling them either. I have rarely smoked up at home.

Have you faced stigma from friends or family for smoking weed or hash (as a mother or in general)?

I haven’t faced stigma because I haven’t made it generally known. But I have mentioned it in my writing that my family dedicatedly read, so they must know. As a mother though, everything you do for your own pleasure it censured to an extent. A glass of wine at a gathering with my kid will also elicit raised eyebrows. However with weed, I have not smoked it at home and in general company, it is always with like minded people who have access (which in India is still illegal), so no reactions there.

Do your kids smoke up? If they’re still young, how would you feel about them smoking weed or hash later on? When is the age you think you would allow them to smoke up?

My son is too young. I would probably try to seek research out to find out the impact of weed on young brains and would discourage till then. That said, I smoked weed for the first time when I was 20 years of age. So I would probably feel that anything before that is too young, which is not to say that it is a scientific benchmark for age, it is more a psychological thing.

Would you ever smoke up with your kids?

I would after I am comfortable with the idea that my kid is smoking weed.

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Mom 2 (Mumbai)

How many kids do you have, and how old are they?

I have two kids, son age 24 and a daughter age 22.

How often do you smoke weed or hash? Do you have a preferred method for smoking?

I smoke occasionally whenever somebody else is smoking. Like some people drink wine or champagne when it is served. Didn’t smoke when the kids were young. Simply because nobody in my circle smoked at that point.

What do you like and/or dislike about smoking weed or hash?

Nothing to dislike about smoking weed. It’s a nice mild high. Like beer or vodka.

Do your kids know? If they do, how and when did you tell them? If they don’t, is it hard to keep it from them/ other family members?

My kids presumed I smoked grass/hash since I was from FTII [Film and Television Institute of India]. I never pretended otherwise. The stupidest mistake desi parents make is presuming their kids will never grow up.

Have you faced stigma from friends or family for smoking weed or hash (as a mother or in general)?

Don’t think people in the family realise I have smoked weed. In my circle smoking is not looked down upon.

Do your kids smoke up? If they’re still young, how would you feel about them smoking weed or hash later on? When is the age you think you would allow them to smoke up?

Yes my son started smoking when he was in the 12th. I was pissed because he was using his pocket money for weed. Then he would take money from his sister for food and travel. I kept him on very limited pocket money through college.

Would you ever smoke up with your kids?

1. I don’t have much money
2. Smoke on your own money has always been my policy.
3. Now I smoke weed with his friends, they are used to me.
4. I am a single parent. My ex has had major issues with addiction. So I feel my son who is biological should stay away from hash. But it’s not in my hands.

My daughter is adopted. I offered her a drag when she was leaving for art school. She smokes like a chimney but doesn’t care for hash.

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Mom 3 (Goa)

How many kids do you have, and how old are they?

I have two daughters, 25 and 28.

How often do you smoke weed or hash? Do you have a preferred method for smoking?

Not often — have tried it a few times. Only a joint. Haven’t tried any other way.

What do you like and/or dislike about smoking weed or hash?

Nothing. I love it!!

Do your kids know? If they do, how and when did you tell them? If they don’t, is it hard to keep it from them/ other family members?

Yes they know. Told them recently as they are adults now. Not difficult to hide as I live independently.

Do you face stigma from friends or family for smoking weed or hash (as a mother or in general)?

Yes I have, but I was like that too about it, so I understand people’s trepidation.

Do your kids smoke up? If they’re still young, how would you feel about them smoking weed or hash later on? When is the age you think you would allow them to smoke up?

Yes they have tried it. I don’t think kids now need permission they do it anyway.

Would you ever smoke up with your kids?

They have asked me to do it with them. Not really sure whether I would.