Me – Who did you say was coming?
Niece – My friend, Aadhi.
Me – Is he the one you married?
Niece – No.
Me – He bites furniture.
Niece – No.
Me – It’s not that weird kid, is it? The one who doesn’t blink?
Niece – I can blink. See?
Me – That’s not blinking, that’s … what exactly are you doing with your face?
Niece – It’s blinking.
Me – Okay, have I met Aadhi before?
Niece – Ya.
Me – Did I like Aadhi?
Niece – No.
Me – Oh my god, it’s that weird kid.
Niece – Am I blinking now?
Me – Why is he coming here though?
Niece – To play.
Me – But he just stands there. Not blinking. And when he talks, I can never understand what he’s saying. Sometimes it almost sounds like English and then it almost sounds like Tamil and then it definitely sounds like Russian.
Niece – I can understand him.
Me – I think you just pretend to understand him to make the rest of us look bad.
Niece – Can I have some mango ice cream?
Me – No.
Niece – What if Aadhi wants me to have?
Me – What if Aadhi wants you to have mango ice cream?
Niece – Ya.
Me – Really, dude?
Niece – Okay, you can give me later.
Me – I’m not giving you any mango ice cream. You little extortionist.
Niece – Hm?
Me – Ex-tor-shun-ist.
Niece – Is that me?
Me – Yes.
Niece – It’s nice.
*
Me – Hi, Aadhi. What’s happening in your little life? How are your people? Also, I have no idea what you’re saying.
Niece – We are going to play Ghost Ghost. It’s going to be so scary bye.
Me – Ok. Have fun fun. Little dude?
Niece – Hm?
Me – You want to take Aadhi with you?
Niece – AAAADHIIII!
Me – Why don’t you come here and get him instead of rupturing everyone’s eardrums.
Niece – AAAADHIIII!!!!
Me – Go on Aadhi, don’t you want to have fun playing Ghost Ghost Ghost Ghost?
Niece – AAAADHIIIII!!!
Me – No? You just want to stand there? Not blinking?
Niece – AAAADHIIII!!!
Me – What if I offered you money?
Niece – AADHI COME I’LL DRAW ON YOUR FACE!!!
Me – Really? That’s a better incentive than money? Maybe it is.
*
Me – So, you’re both ghosts then.
Niece – Ya, I’m a intervisible ghost.
Me – Invisible.
Niece – Ok.
Me – And Aadhi is …
Niece – He’s another ghost.
Me – Which would explain the sheet which is covering him.
Niece – We are both so scary.
Me – You didn’t actually draw on his face, did you? Because I might get in trouble if you did. I mean you might get in trouble.
Niece – You can’t talk to me, I’m a intervisible.
Me – Okay. And Aadhi, you’re just going to stand there? With that sheet over your head? You know, our relationship could be so different if I knew what you were saying.
Niece – He wants to stand there.
Me – Well Aadhi, dude, I’m working here, so you’re going to have to stand somewhere else.
Niece – You’re just looking at your phone.
Me – No, I’m doing … stuff.
Niece – What stuff?
Me – I’m … okay, fine, he can stand there.
Niece – We’re going to dance now.
Me – Like, right now? Okay, you mean right now.
Niece – Is it nice?
Me – Yes. Aadhi you are as graceful as a gazelle, which is amazing and also a little alarming. Little dude, you jump up and down very well.
Niece – Should we stop now?
Me – No, keep going.
Niece – When are we having the mango ice cream?
Me – Never.
Niece – After lunch.
Me – Never does not mean after lunch.
Niece – Why?
Me – Because.
Niece – I think so it means after lunch.
*
Me – Where is it all going??
Niece – He ate it.
Me – I just put the rice on his plate. Like a second ago.
Niece – Aadhi eats fast.
Me – Is he inhaling it? It’s hard to tell with that sheet over his head.
Niece – He wants more rice.
Me – I don’t think there is any more.
Niece – Why?
Me – Because he ate it all. Aadhi, you want me to make some more?
Niece – He says yes.
Me – I was kinda hoping he’d say no.
Niece – We can have mango ice cream also.
Me – You really think that’s going to happen, don’t you.
Niece – Ya. It’s going to happen.
*
Me – Well Aadhi, it’s been a pleasure. You sure you want to keep wearing that bedsheet? I really wish I could understand what you’re saying. It sounds interesting.
Niece – He said yes.
Me – Won’t your mom think it’s weird if you come home wearing a bedsheet over your head? Guess not.
Niece – BYE AADHI!!!
Me – BYE AADHI!!!
Niece – Why you yelling?
Me – I thought we were all yelling.
Niece – I’m going to play now.
Me – Wait! Tell me about your day with Aadhi. Did you have fun?
Niece – He was sad I didn’t get any mango ice cream.
Me – Well, life is full of sorrow.
Niece – Did I draw on his face?
Me – What? Why are you asking me that?
Niece – Hm?
Me – You drew on his face didn’t you.
Niece – Ya.
Me – Well maybe he won’t take that sheet off, and it’ll be okay.
Niece – Can you draw on my face?
Me – I probably shouldn’t.
Niece – Can you draw a shoe rack?
Me – Pretty sure I can’t draw a shoe rack. Especially on a face.
Niece – I bring my markers?
Me – Absolutely, let’s do this.
