Me – Who did you say was coming?

Niece – My friend, Aadhi.

Me – Is he the one you married?

Niece – No.

Me – He bites furniture.

Niece – No.

Me – It’s not that weird kid, is it? The one who doesn’t blink?

Niece – I can blink. See?

Me – That’s not blinking, that’s … what exactly are you doing with your face?

Niece – It’s blinking.

Me – Okay, have I met Aadhi before?

Niece – Ya.

Me – Did I like Aadhi?

Niece – No.

Me – Oh my god, it’s that weird kid.

Niece – Am I blinking now?

Me – Why is he coming here though?

Niece – To play.

Me – But he just stands there. Not blinking. And when he talks, I can never understand what he’s saying. Sometimes it almost sounds like English and then it almost sounds like Tamil and then it definitely sounds like Russian.

Niece – I can understand him.

Me – I think you just pretend to understand him to make the rest of us look bad.

Niece – Can I have some mango ice cream?

Me – No.

Niece – What if Aadhi wants me to have?

Me – What if Aadhi wants you to have mango ice cream?

Niece – Ya.

Me – Really, dude?

Niece – Okay, you can give me later.

Me – I’m not giving you any mango ice cream. You little extortionist.

Niece – Hm?

Me – Ex-tor-shun-ist.

Niece – Is that me?

Me – Yes.

Niece – It’s nice.

*

Me – Hi, Aadhi. What’s happening in your little life? How are your people? Also, I have no idea what you’re saying.

Niece – We are going to play Ghost Ghost. It’s going to be so scary bye.

Me – Ok. Have fun fun. Little dude?

Niece – Hm?

Me – You want to take Aadhi with you?

Niece – AAAADHIIII!

Me – Why don’t you come here and get him instead of rupturing everyone’s eardrums.

Niece – AAAADHIIII!!!!

Me – Go on Aadhi, don’t you want to have fun playing Ghost Ghost Ghost Ghost?

Niece – AAAADHIIIII!!!

Me – No? You just want to stand there? Not blinking?

Niece – AAAADHIIII!!!

Me – What if I offered you money?

Niece – AADHI COME I’LL DRAW ON YOUR FACE!!!

Me – Really? That’s a better incentive than money? Maybe it is.

*

Me – So, you’re both ghosts then.

Niece – Ya, I’m a intervisible ghost.

Me – Invisible.

Niece – Ok.

Me – And Aadhi is …

Niece – He’s another ghost.

Me – Which would explain the sheet which is covering him.

Niece – We are both so scary.

Me – You didn’t actually draw on his face, did you? Because I might get in trouble if you did. I mean you might get in trouble.

Niece – You can’t talk to me, I’m a intervisible.

Me – Okay. And Aadhi, you’re just going to stand there? With that sheet over your head? You know, our relationship could be so different if I knew what you were saying.

Niece – He wants to stand there.

Me – Well Aadhi, dude, I’m working here, so you’re going to have to stand somewhere else.

Niece – You’re just looking at your phone.

Me – No, I’m doing … stuff.

Niece – What stuff?

Me – I’m … okay, fine, he can stand there.

Niece – We’re going to dance now.

Me – Like, right now? Okay, you mean right now.

Niece – Is it nice?

Me – Yes. Aadhi you are as graceful as a gazelle, which is amazing and also a little alarming. Little dude, you jump up and down very well.

Niece – Should we stop now?

Me – No, keep going.

Niece – When are we having the mango ice cream?

Me – Never.

Niece – After lunch.

Me – Never does not mean after lunch.

Niece – Why?

Me – Because.

Niece – I think so it means after lunch.

*

Me – Where is it all going??

Niece – He ate it.

Me – I just put the rice on his plate. Like a second ago.

Niece – Aadhi eats fast.

Me – Is he inhaling it? It’s hard to tell with that sheet over his head.

Niece – He wants more rice.

Me – I don’t think there is any more.

Niece – Why?

Me – Because he ate it all. Aadhi, you want me to make some more?

Niece – He says yes.

Me – I was kinda hoping he’d say no.

Niece – We can have mango ice cream also.

Me – You really think that’s going to happen, don’t you.

Niece – Ya. It’s going to happen.

*

Me – Well Aadhi, it’s been a pleasure. You sure you want to keep wearing that bedsheet? I really wish I could understand what you’re saying. It sounds interesting.

Niece – He said yes.

Me – Won’t your mom think it’s weird if you come home wearing a bedsheet over your head? Guess not.

Niece – BYE AADHI!!!

Me – BYE AADHI!!!

Niece – Why you yelling?

Me – I thought we were all yelling.

Niece – I’m going to play now.

Me – Wait! Tell me about your day with Aadhi. Did you have fun?

Niece – He was sad I didn’t get any mango ice cream.

Me – Well, life is full of sorrow.

Niece – Did I draw on his face?

Me – What? Why are you asking me that?

Niece – Hm?

Me – You drew on his face didn’t you.

Niece – Ya.

Me – Well maybe he won’t take that sheet off, and it’ll be okay.

Niece – Can you draw on my face?

Me – I probably shouldn’t.

Niece – Can you draw a shoe rack?

Me – Pretty sure I can’t draw a shoe rack. Especially on a face.

Niece – I bring my markers?

Me – Absolutely, let’s do this.