In this series, we dig into our strange phobias, fixations, and neuroses, and ask ourselves — Is This Normal?

Often, I find myself ensnared in a perpetual tempest of indecision. The weight of countless possibilities presses upon my shoulders like the celestial vault on Atlas – each option a star gleaming with tantalizing allure yet obscured by the fog of uncertainty. I stand upon a precipice, suspended between the towering cliffs of opportunity and the abyss of consequence, paralyzed by the fear of a misstep that would send me plummeting below. In short, I’m terrified of making decisions – no matter the kind.

Is this normal? “I find the first line of a feature is the hardest to write. It’s the easiest to overthink and – ironically, when writing about decisions – the trickiest to decide how to word. It’s not just the first lines: decisions, in general, overwhelm me. They don’t even have to be difficult. Today I lost 20 minutes in Itsu weighing up the benefits of different bento boxes. I regularly overthink small decisions like choosing a nail polish color… And does cycling to meetings make me look unprofessional?” writes editor and health coach Kate Faithfull-Williams.

Decision-making is a fundamental aspect of human existence – from the mundane choices of what to eat for breakfast to life-altering decisions about careers and relationships. While some individuals navigate this process with ease, many find themselves overwhelmed and paralyzed by the mere thought of making a decision. “Decision-making can be stressful. Some decisions are stressful because they’re just plain hard… But unfortunately for all of us, the stress that comes with decision-making isn’t confined to a special category of ‘difficult decisions’ that we face only intermittently. There are all kinds of factors that can make even low-stakes, everyday decisions difficult and stressful,” explains Kate Barasz, associate professor of marketing at ESADE Business School, whose research interests include the study of decision-making.

“[P]eople are averse to making (objectively and subjectively) difficult choices because they don’t want the stress of weighing all the options or the responsibility of dealing with the eventual outcome – both, good and bad,” Barasz adds.

One’s upbringing, too, may impact their ability to make decisions. “If someone has grown up with overbearing parents, they may not have had an opportunity to make decisions independently. There was never any chance for the person to fail or succeed by themselves,” explains Haley Perlus, a sport and performance psychologist. “As such, once they’re given the opportunity to make a choice, they’re left looking for someone else to make that choice for them."

Further, many of us are weighed down by decision fatigue – characterized by mental exhaustion and a decrease in decision-making ability – as a result of constantly making one decision or another. As Medical News Today notes, “It can help some people to think of the decision-making ability as a finite source, such as a battery. Each decision reduces the charge of the battery, and the person has less energy available to make other decisions later on.” This exhaustion affects our ability to make, both, big and small decisions, and can manifest as avoidance or impulsivity – hindering effective decision-making and leading one to opt for the easiest choices and default options.

But, sometimes, mental health conditions, too, can hinder one’s ability to make decisions. “Many people agonize over decisions. Having difficulty making decisions can be a sign of depression. When one is in the throes of despair, there may be a pessimistic view of reasonable options and an inability to act,” Carrie Baron, a board-certified psychiatrist on the clinical faculty of the Columbia College of Physicians and Surgeons, wrote in Psychology Today. In fact, indecisiveness is a common symptom of major depressive disorder. When the once vibrant tapestry of life is reduced to a monochromatic tableau and the world appears to be a desolate landscape devoid of color, the very prospect of making decisions can feel like a burdensome task weighed down by the heavy shackles of apathy and hopelessness. Additionally, the lethargy and cognitive sluggishness characteristic of depression can sap one’s motivation and cognitive flexibility – making it difficult to muster the mental energy necessary for effective decision-making.

The insidious tendrils of anxiety, too, can trap the mind in a relentless cycle of apprehension and doubt – suffocating rational thinking and clouding one’s judgment. “Indecision can also stem from anxiety. Fear of making the wrong decision and suffering consequences or remorse inhibits some people. Worry[ing] about making a mistake and feeling guilty, remiss, exposed, or ignorant is common. Sometimes, people are paralyzed by a fear of hurting or alienating another,” adds Baron. The fear of impending disaster and catastrophic outcomes – induced by anxiety – can render even the most inconsequential choices paralyzing in their magnitude, leading to indecision and avoidance.

In a nutshell, then, “A ‘good’ decision increases self-worth, and a ‘bad’ decision leads to self-criticism… This perpetuates the tendency to default to the relative safety of indecision,” explains Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist.

In this crucible of life and its many accompanying stressors, decision-making can become an uphill battle against the relentless onslaught of internal turmoil and external pressures. So, while it may or may not be “normal” to experience decision paralyses, it’s certainly “human” to do so – especially in the fast-paced, significantly distressed world we live in. For now, instead of beating myself up about it, I’m going to seek solace in this line: “I am but a mariner adrift upon a tumultuous sea of doubt, longing for the guiding beacon that will lead me safely to shore.”