In The Buzz Cut, we bring you a round-up of news you wish wasn’t news.

The #KindnessChallenge to Keep Up With

Girlbosses keep kindness kool

A woman who single-handedly built an empire of entertainment — analogous to what McDonald’s is to food — started a “kindness challenge” with one of her daughters this month. Never before was kindness as much of a challenge as it has been now. Acknowledging how challenging it can be to be decent, the clan reportedly called each other up and told one another how “beautiful” and “fabulous” they were to contribute to the charitable cause. That their empire was built upon these priors is merely semantics. In throwing the challenge open to everyone in exchange for cash prizes, the reality stars made kindness kool again.

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The Royal ‘Bags of Kindness’

A man greeting people with kindness while plotting world domination

A prince, whose ancestors were responsible for creating the world map as it stands today, shared “bags of kindness” with refugees fleeing the geopolitical repercussions of that very map. The prince’s bags contained just what refugees very badly wanted and needed: Christmas-themed cookies. The country in question is currently reckoning with migrant deaths on the English Channel. Such an act of kindness was not seen from royalty since the “people’s princess,” the prince’s late wife. Some noted that with this magical bag of snacks, the prince has indeed finally lived up to her legacy.

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“Bollywood is a toxic place with no love or empathy.” — A Massive Transformer

Woman surprised at lack of support from people she hates

An actor whose genocidal rants earned her a Twitter ban recently lamented the lack of empathy in the film industry. “Everybody wants to pull everybody down, that’s not helping at all,” she stated. Unlike others in the industry, this actor is known to have been immensely supportive and kind – of her own talent. “The kind of range I display as a performer no other actress on this globe has that right now,” she said, in a tweet earlier this year, before her account was permanently deleted. The actor is also, unlike other stars, a compassionate humanitarian, in that she vehemently supports crimes against humanity against minority communities.

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“Repay with love, affection, kindness.” — Sabka Bhai

Man smiles wryly on as he hides the secrets of his kindness

A man whose definition of repaying service involves sacrifice – as in, sacrificing an employee to jail on their behalf – spoke about the importance of repaying with kindness this Republic Day. Repay whom, and for what, exactly, remains unknown at this time. The enigmatic actor likes living his life as a black box – a device known for holding the secrets of car crashes – and did not elaborate on these details. The actor is known for muscles that are so powerful they could break an entire pillar of democracy — the judiciary. Some speculate that he called for the people to repay him, as a token of gratitude to him for being human and making money off of other people’s kindness and decency.

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The Choice Humanitarian award for kindness

Woman humbled and surprised by awards for kindness

A comedian who has bagged some of the highest honors in the land for being kind has said, in yet another acceptance speech, that she found it strange to be receiving an award for being kind. As someone whose brand identity is rooted in kindness, the woman built an empire out of the idea that being kind will save the world. Her company, reportedly, was kind to a stifling degree, such that many employees couldn’t handle the pressure. They cited an abusive working environment, where kindness was stuffed down throats and shackled workers on the premises, preventing leave until they earned it with acts of kindness. This model of kindness, where it makes for good optics, was handsomely rewarded once again this year at the People’s Choice Awards.

Honorary mentions

The world’s foremost supervillain once said: “Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice.”

Man who specializes in not giving anybody any gifts or choices

“Let us remember empathy and simple kindness are essential, powerful tools of national recovery” — An actual war criminal.

Man on the verge of unleashing destruction world still hasn’t recovered from