In The Buzz Cut, we bring you a round-up of news you wish wasn’t news.
Country’s Pillars of Democracy Found to Be Made of Lego as Adult Men Play With Press Freedom
Archeologists have revisited the monoliths holding our nation in place for a closer look. In a shocking revelation, it appears that there was nothing to see there. The historical site of the pillars of democracy was found to have been ransacked, leaving nothing behind. The current state of the ancient remains is unknown. Some believe, however, that they’ve been converted into playthings for some important men seeking momentary relief from high-powered business decisions. Indeed, this week saw one such man spending some quality time honing his creativity with some toy bricks that looked suspiciously like one of the missing pillars. Some note that it was a smart business decision — for someone with an eye for real estate, seizing upon the lucrative fourth estate along the way was only inevitable. The conversion of the pillar into blocks to play with, then, will help the visionary man build the much talked about development model that takes the country forward.
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High EQ Man Compares Career Lows to Terminal Illness
They say that suffering defeat humbles a person, and they could not have been more right. A man speaking about his career bravely opened up about what the low points felt like. In a video where, by all accounts, he appeared to be in good physical health, the actor said that not being successful in the movies felt like skin cancer. While the average person fortunate enough not to have skin cancer can only imagine such a fate, this empath is the rare one among us who can actually feel it. Researchers of terminal illness were shocked to discover that the pain from surmountable setbacks in life was, in fact, comparable to that of a long-drawn, life-altering illness. And yet, the man has shown it is possible to compare the two if one is multifaceted enough in their worldview, like he is. In this case, the multiple facets involved are two entire points on an emotional intelligence scale.
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Right Wing Actor Takes Unexpected Anti-national Turn by Dredging Up Beef With Award Show
An actor known for her unflinching support for religious majoritarianism has arrived at a crossroads; she must make a choice. On the one hand — say, the right hand — there is her love for and desire to protect cows; on the other, there is tempting beef to pick up with an award function. Having chosen to go left, in this case, choosing the beef, the actor became an unlikely candidate for joining the anti-national gang. She chose to sue the award show over nominating her for an award. Nearly everyone, including the beef, is confused over the debacle — one that may prove to cost her. “I always loved her, but her decision to indulge in unnecessary beef makes me question her beliefs,” said one former fan. The consequences of the sudden turn are yet to be seen.
