In The Buzz Cut, we bring you a round-up of news you wish wasn’t news.
Couple Releases New Documentary Spotlighting How They Left the Spotlight
A couple who moved continents to escape severe and unwanted scrutiny has just released a documentary about said scrutiny. The documentary offers an inside look into the couple’s life as they navigated living through a media frenzy that tried to offer an inside look into the couple’s life. It also offers a brand new glimpse at the exact same facts about the couple’s life that are already in the public domain. While the series reopened a chasm between the pair and their estranged family back home, it also showed the importance of telling one’s story on one’s own terms: namely, repeating the story to cameras of one’s own choosing. The program shows how thetwo successfully shed their identities as royals, and reinvented themselves as ex-royals. They rightly criticized the practice of accepting large amounts of money over their photographs, as they accepted a large amount of money to show their photographs to the world. In one fell swoop, the reborn, egalitarian aristocrats ended racism and the monarchy by pointing out their respective flaws — but on their own terms.
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Bollywood Invokes Lungis Once Again in Bid to Appeal to South
After a string of pan-India films that largely panned only at the box office, Bollywood has come back with another cultural revival: the pan-India song. Evoking familiar beats like lungis, the same few sentences in Tamil, and a syncretic set infused with mallipoo, a Hindi song successfully revived all the stereotypes about South India that lay dormant in the industry’s past. The attempt to showcase its cultural heterogeneity was well met by other Hindi speaking audiences, who could appreciate the cosmopolitan sensibility of reducing an entire culture to a lungi for the sake of a catchy beat. The song is expected to take over the wedding and party scene where, once again, a Hindi-speaking person can knowingly accost a Malayalee with their acquired command over Tamil.
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35-Year-Old Woman Looks “Great,” Baffling World
A publication complimented a woman for her looks at the ripe old age of 35. Reporters who broke the story are said to have travelled to the ends of the earth to find another woman of the same age who looks like a woman of that age, to no avail. Indeed, the woman in question is the last remaining one known to mankind who still looks “great” at such an advanced age, and many are desperate to know her secret. Meanwhile, researchers at beauty industries are racing to discover the formula that can best make a 35 year-old woman look 35 and “great” at the same time, since the two factors have never been known to share any correlation or causation until now. Women who are 34 are eagerly awaiting the cure as they count the last moments until their youthful looks fall off their faces entirely. Meanwhile, women, who are 36, are mourning the loss of their opportunity to regain their appearance. Only time will tell whether it’s possible for everyone to look great at any age — but if the magazines are any indication, this time, too, is running out.
