In The Buzz Cut, we bring you a round-up of news you wish wasn’t news.
Man Keeps Biological Clock on Behalf of All Women
An actor may yet receive the Nobel Prize for his contribution to the physical sciences. His ability to detect the exact moment a woman’s prefrontal cortex fully develops, remains unmatched by either man or machine. Some say that he is able to perceive the changes in a woman’s age on a cellular level — with an internal sixth sense alerting him to the fact that she is now a quarter of a century old. While many others in society have tried, nobody has come close to keeping a biological clock for all women in quite the same way as this man, who has diligently maintained the timekeeping method for years of his life. Reports suggest that his unique ability saves him from having to use calendars, as he keeps track of the passage of time through the women he is with. The man’s contribution to science, and to a society that likes to remind women of their age, may just be the most remarkable yet — it’s a contribution so ahead of its time that it may never get old, just like the women he dates.
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Relatable Royal Tearily Recounts Experience of Being Unable to Afford Multimillion-Dollar Home
Royals: they’re just like us! In this case, it’s an exiled royal. A duchess recently opened up about her struggle of feeling like she wouldn’t be able to afford a multimillion-dollar mansion. This is a struggle that many can indeed relate to, as not many can really afford such a luxury. But the duchess also proved to be inspirational as she recounted the experience from the comfort of the aforementioned mansion that she was able to buy after all. But the revelation served as an important reminder that everyone has internal financial struggles that we may know nothing about. For some, it could be unemployment, a health crisis, or crushing debt. The former royal showed that even princesses can be reduced to potential homelessness in this economy — if the home is over ten million dollars, has more than ten bedrooms and bathrooms, and generally, much spare space to accommodate absolutely nobody else.
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Transphobic Author Pens Moving 1,000-Page Novel on Transphobic People’s Oppression
An author recently wrote a novel that details the persecution and systemic marginalization of some of the most oppressed people on the planet: transphobes. The popular children’s novelist had previously gained a reputation online for bravely calling for the disenfranchisement of trans people. This experience led to some backlash — one that, it would seem, put her in the ranks of some of humanity’s most invisibilized victims of disempowerment. In a bid to provide some much-needed representation to the transphobic community, the author went on to pen a haunting tale of a character who is murdered for expressing their views against trans people. The story threw light on the fact that bigots, too, are oppressed — in fact, they’re more oppressed than the people they’re bigoted against.
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Beloved Children’s Bear Not Spared by Inflation, Takes Side Gig as Horror Movie Killer
A beloved cartoon character is down in the dumps. After a flourishing early career as a lovable bear, the bear suffered a downward spiral that’s familiar to many one-hit wonders: grappling with the fleetingness of fame, craving validation, and suffering from an acute lack of relevance. Amid dwindling opportunities to break out of the trappings of former stardom, the bear signed on to a role markedly different from the one he was known for. He is now a killer. Audiences will see him reprise his role albeit with a shocking twist: a grittier, darker, and adult version of it. Nobody — not even animated bears — is spared from the realities of inflation and a downward spiraling economy, it would seem.
