In The Buzz Cut, we bring you a round-up of news you wish wasn’t news.
Man Who Witnessed Laborious Birth Lauded for Immediately Hitting the Gym
They say that the grind never stops, and so it was for one man who gritted his teeth and got back to the gym immediately after the birth of his daughter. His trainer went on record to praise his sheer determination and commitment to the hustle, his parental heavy-lifting raising the bar all round. He did what no man has ever been known to do: resume regular activities upon entering into new parenthood. By conforming to the exact gender stereotype men are known for, the man actually subverted it by showing that parenthood immediately after (someone else) giving birth is arduous, and requires discipline for men, too. The actor thereby set an example for pulling his weight — literally — and reinforcing the importance of postpartum self-care for men, winning praise and acclaim for his dedication toward his own self. Feminist fathers everywhere now have a high bar to reach.
*
Nation Shocked by Allegedly Divorcing Couple Sharing Healthy Relationship
A couple that was presumed divorced shocked the nation by appearing together. They defied the well-defined custom of two people never casting a glance even upon each other’s shadows after separating. Notwithstanding that the two share a child together, people were flabbergasted at the sight of the co-parents standing in the same space, breathing each other’s air. Such mutual respect between two people was virtually unheard of, bringing in a paradigm shift for couple dynamics everywhere. Experts observing the situation closely have confirmed that it is indeed psychologically possible to remain respectful toward someone you’ve possibly split up with. Although rare, and although not many have tried, it remains a feat that has left citizens shocked and unprepared for the fate of the world in this new paradigm.
*
Human Rights Secondary to Men Playing Ball
A football tournament has taken over the world, and along with a ball, men have also kicked their values into the dust. The tournament is set to take place in a country with a less-than-ideal human rights track record. But experts noted that human rights often clash against one another: the human right to life, for instance, is incompatible with the human right to kick a ball around for money. Indeed, choosing another location, or even having a conscientious stand against abuses could compromise the game — and being a multi-billion dollar event, that is the gravest human rights violation of them all.