Welcome to TMI, a monthly series that crowdsources awkward details and uncomfortable moments that come with occupying our bodies.
In a media-saturated world, what we see on screen plays an important role in shaping people’s perceptions of sex. What pop culture leaves out, however, is equally significant. Stars on-screen don’t seem to suffer post-sex awkwardness, nor feel the burning need to wash off accumulated fluids to keep infections at bay. The sanitized, often romanticized versions of post-sex scenes that are all cuddles and no clean up peddle ideas that are often in contrast to people’s experiences or sex in real life. We asked readers to tell us what pop culture doesn’t show them about the 5 minutes after sex. Here’s what they said:
The awkward clean-up
“The pee and cleanup – so important for preventing UTIs. Movie characters just lie in their fluids post sex.”
“Cleaning up and snoring.”
“There’s too little about them cleaning the sheets or anything, so do they just sleep on soiled sheets or? A lot of times they talk about aftercare but where’s the clean up?”
“Offering water for hydration, lots of cuddles.”
“Putting on a movie on the television to avoid having conversations as we both recover.”
“Wet, uncomfortable feeling that lasts for a while.”
“Jumping into the washroom, peeing the fluids away, sometimes an overwhelming thought of a pregnancy scare.”
“The entire process is simply not as aesthetic or sensual as seen on television, most times it’s just messy.”
“Sweat and sex hair, hate it.”
“Wash my body and my sex toys.”
Roiling emotions
“Pop culture gets a lot wrong about sex in general. Sure it can be passionate and all that but it can sometimes be funny or sad or just mechanical as well.”
“Pop culture often shows (characters) just sighing and smiling after sex. But it’s not always that. There’s sometimes disgust, regret, confusion, so many other emotions that can happen.”
“Post nut clarity where you just stare at the ceiling in silence for like 5 mins.”
“Not everyone falls asleep. Some of us are still busy overthinking after sex.”
“Insecurities.”
“The extreme awkwardness. It’s not at all sexy during or after all the time.”
“Discussing kinks and desires to explore if there will be a next time.”
“I told my partner that I loved him, but I definitely did not mean it, or maybe in that moment I did. Sex and hormones have a way of fogging up your mind.”
“The general being goofy situation. It doesn’t show how goofy people are.”
Post-sex practicalities
“How you put back your clothes — we all don’t wake up naked.”
“Helping each other get dressed again.”
“Ball and [vulva] scratch.”
“The condom disposal.”
“Sweat, breathlessness (as a guy), burnt calories.”
“Ordering tons of food because we’re both hungry after the sesh.”
“Often we (women) don’t orgasm simply through penetrative sex so it can be a tad bit disappointing.”
“You barely have any time to cuddle (as shown) because a lot of time you are just cleaning the mess.”