Kindness Is the First Thing Women Look for in a Partner


Aug 13, 2019


What do women really want in a partner? Kindness, according to a survey conducted by menstrual cycle tracking app Clue, which collaborated with researchers from the University of Gottingen, in Germany, and MyOne Condoms. Specifically, 90% of women respondents stated kindness was the trait they most desired in a partner. It was followed by supportiveness, intelligence, education, and confidence.

As for looks, “Attractive body, attractive face, ambition, assertiveness, and financial security were seen only as moderately important qualities for a long-term partner,” per the survey’s findings.

The Clue Ideal Partner Survey” included responses from about 68,000 women of all sexual orientations across 180 countries.

“[Surveying] women from all over the world — across various sexual orientations and life phases — gave us rich insight into what matters most to them. This allows us to draw a very differentiated picture of women’s preferences for long-term, and short-term relationships,” said Dr. Tanja Gerlach from the University of Gottingen.

The survey’s results revealed that while 86% of women looked for supportiveness, 72% sought intelligence in their partner and 64% thought education was important. Another 60% said confidence was their most desired trait in a partner.

Interestingly, for 46% of women, irrespective of their sexual preferences, their partner’s desire to parent was also important when it came to choosing one for the long term. Few women (10%) said their partner’s ethnic similarities were important while 25% stressed on religious similarities.

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Japan, Mexico, Colombia, and the U.S. had the highest percentage of respondents who stated that the financial security of a long-term partner was very important. Women from Colombia, Mexico and Brazil frequently stated that education was important, and for those from Brazil and the U.S., it was political similarity that was more important.

About 700 men also responded to the survey. They also ranked kindness as a priority, and as with women, they ranked supportiveness, intelligence and education as the next most important traits they look for in a partner.

The only dissimilarity was the fifth priority; while women said they wanted their partner to be confident, men said they wanted their partners to be ambitious.


Written By Anubhuti Matta

Anubhuti Matta is an associate editor with The Swaddle. When not at work, she’s busy pursuing kathak, reading books on and by women in the Middle East or making dresses out of Indian prints.


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