Woe Is Me! is a series in which The Swaddle team indulges your pity party with advice you’ll probably ignore.
"It's been a year since my ex and I broke up, and everyone unanimously agrees that it was his fault since he cheated on me. Since then, his best friend and I have been talking. We grew closer, and eventually, ended up in a situationship. We just decided to make it official together since we really like each other, but we haven't told anyone out of fear of judgment. My ex and I aren't on talking terms, but he's still close with my now-boyfriend, though they grew apart a bit, too. I'm convinced that the best friend was the right person all along, and he treats me much better than my ex ever did. Are we doing something wrong?"
-- An Unexpected Secret
SA: You're not doing anything wrong and you definitely don't owe any explanations to a cheating ex. However, if your now-boyfriend wants to stay on friendly terms with your ex, he should probably give him a heads-up and talk it through.
NY: You found a genuine connection with your partner, and there is nothing better than that. Your love story with this boyfriend carries the charm of a slow burn romance and I am loving it for you! It's important for you to remember that love comes in various forms and unexpected places, and the path to finding it is diverse for everyone. So, you absolutely do not have to give power to any such thoughts about how and where you found love. Love has its own way of manifesting, and you should be excited about the journey ahead.
AS: I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, but I get that navigating this situation with a close-knit circle can get tricky. The fear of judgment, in this case, is expected but you don’t need to explain anything to your ex, or, for that matter, to others. If at all, I see this raising more of a predicament for your now-boyfriend, especially if he wants to continue his close friendship with your ex. But as long as you both are on the same page about where you guys stand in all this, and have had this conversation so that it doesn’t breed any feelings of regret or hostility between you both later, whatever anybody else has to say about your relationship shouldn't matter.
