Woe Is Me! “My Best Friend Is Dating My Ex. Should I Cut Both of Them Off?”
Woe Is Me! is a series in which The Swaddle team indulges your pity party with advice you’ll probably ignore.
“The situation is pretty complicated, so bear with me. My ex, my best friend, and I, are all part of a close-knit friend group. It was my best friend who had actually told me that my ex liked me. My best friend happens to be my ex’s boy bestfriend. Throughout the time I dated him, I had my suspicions about their dynamic, as they were a little too close. And now, after recently breaking up with my ex, I found out that they promptly got together. I’m barely talking to my best friend anymore. What should I do?”
— Three’s a crowd
DR: Sorry to break this to you, but I think it’s time you found another close-knit — although, maybe, not as close as this one, if you get my drift — group of friends. Also, you should consider replacing your best friend ASAP, unless you enjoy the emotional turmoil that this friendship is likely to bring you. As for your ex, well, congratulations on breaking up!
SA: You are right, it is pretty complicated; I had to read it a couple of times just to understand the chronology.
If you really miss your best friend and feel like the friendship can be redeemed, then definitely try to. However, if there’s little to no enthusiasm from the friend, I’d recommend taking a step back and re-evaluating why you even want these people in your life. Clearly, there was a lack of respect for your feelings, and that’s something to consider and bring up, if there’s any hope of saving the friendship. If there’s no scope for honest conversation and forgiveness, then, well, the friendship is long gone; time to move on!
AT: Live and let live; there’s nothing you can do to change how people feel about each other. How you feel and deal with it is in your control, though. If you still want them in your life, that’s also great. But it might be best to avoid triggers now, and give yourself time to heal.