"I've always struggled with self-doubt and low self-esteem, especially when it comes to my appearance. I constantly compare myself to others and feel inadequate. Lately it's become so bad that I've started comparing myself with my best friend, who's way more attractive and confident than I am. I feel jealous of her and how she's able to meet people and be so free of self-consciousness at parties. I've started to get more reserved and withdrawn, because I can't help but think that everyone is judging how I look compared to her. It's also started to ruin our friendship, because she's very aware of how conventionally attractive she is. What should I do?

-- Battling Insecurities

MM: It's easy to fall into a trap and internalize conventional standards when it comes to physical appearance. If you find yourself in social settings where you feel like your friend is getting attention for her good looks, know that it has nothing to do with you, and also not something she can help(?). If we link self-fulfillment to our vanity, the world will be a boring beauty pageant. I mean, even 'beauty queens' are crowned after a display of some wit and talent!

SA: Neither your best friend nor you can help how conventionally attractive she is. But her confidence is definitely something that you can gain from.I completely understand how tough it is to practice self-love & self-confidence but as cliche as it is it's really the only way to be happy with your appearance. It's tempting to think that everyone is judging you but the truth is they all have their own insecurities and are too busy worrying about those to take the time to worry about how you look or compare you to your best friend. Try to get into the nitty gritty of what about your appearance upsets you so much? Are those traits that you would criticize in your loved ones? If not, maybe show yourself the same grace. Our insecurities are often magnified in our own heads and in reality it's a very tiny part of your selfhood. You are more than how you look. You have more to offer to the world. Find aspects of yourself that you see as positives and focus on those when you form your sense of self.

MJ: Don’t be so hard on yourself! Forget about what ‘conventionally attractive’ means for a second and think about all the wonderful things you and your body are able to do. Your friend is a completely different person and there’s no way you two can be compared. Take a day to detox and tune into your mind and body. Unless you don’t appreciate it for it does for you, you’ll end up thinking everyone has issues with it. A little fact: everyone is so busy with there own problems, they won’t take so much time to judge or criticise you. Even if they do, you don’t owe another person a single minute of your time. You do you!